I tend to be a very even and balanced leader and learner. I’m often able to handle my emotions even in those situations that really take me off guard. This has proven to be incredibly helpful as it has made me into someone who others can rely on for truly objective feedback, advice, and idea generation.
Yesterday, however, a situation arose that really hit me hard. It spoke to the key components of my role, and amidst changes, how some of those components would shift. I reacted much more emotionally than I have in a very long time, truly because of how strong I feel about my current responsibilities and what they allow me to do. While I wasn’t left ineffective, or forced to leave the meeting, this was a side of me that others rarely see. And, it certainly did impact my ability to lead and learn in this situation effectively.
I realized later, after apologizing to my supervisor, and thinking the situation over, that a showing of emotion like this every once in a while isn’t such a bad thing. It shows heartfelt investment in an idea, and a belief that one truly cares about the outcome of a change, so much so that he or she is willing to bare all to express it.
While in this case my hope for a resolution won’t be the end result, I at least know that others are very aware of how I felt and what I believe to be the right decision. While we can’t always be the decision-makers, we can make sure that when it is about ideas we believe in, we can express our feelings in a way that is incredibly true.
I don’t like to fully express my emotions often as I feel it makes it harder for me to effectively lead and learn. But, in this case, I’m glad that I did, and believe that if nothing else, I was able to state my concerns not only with fact, but with complete feeling.